"I've got asthma...I'm not getting my new shoes dirty!"- Carmine
"I wanna go on a date, gimmie the biggest slut in New York!" - Frankie
"You guys may be bigger, but I still look better" - John
"What's wrong with gay people?" - John
"What's wrong with Russia?" - John
"Mom, I'm gonna be 17 tomorrow, you don't have to cut steak for me" - John
" Sorry a BMW isn't good enough for you prince?!" - John
"What's the worst thing that can happen at a prom? They're gonna go to the beach, cook for themselves, and then go to bed" - John
"You got experience in the pool business?"- John
Larry: "Who's friend am I?" .... John and Frank: "Carmine's"
''A couple of COCKtails'' - John
"Your youngest son used all my gel" - John
"I challenge you to a dual" - Luigi
"Say 'show me the money!'" - Carmine
"We on fire!" - Carmine
"I wish I was 14 again" - Carmine
Landscapers: "We're like Kobe and Shaq" ... Larry: "We're like peanut butter and jelly"
"Sorry, we don't sit around and count your food" - Frank
John: "Give me a big screen TV like my brothers" ... Victoria: "Don't start" ... John: "Now we see who's the favorite son"
Victoria:  "What's all this junk?" ... John: "It's my collectibles!
Victoria:  "Why are all your coats out?" ... John: "I leave them there for Carmine to steal!"
Etiquette Lady: "It's impolite to yawn with your mouth open because nobody wants to see your tonsils" ... Frankie: "I had them removed" ... Etiquette Lady: "Well, I don't want to see where they used to be."
"You don't see Grandma wearing tight ass skirts" - John
Etiquette Lady: "Now Carmine, what can you call your brother besides moron" ...
Carmine: "Jerk-off"
"I locked myself out of my room!"  -  Frankie
"twoogh da twaaah"  -  Frankie
"Be quiet I'm not talking to u"  -  John
John: "Why are you wearing a tuxedo in the first place?"  Frankie: "Cause it's my party, not your party"
"Muskrats all over the bottom of that." - John
  "Yo, I thought that lady was Tula for a second." - John 
"You've been punk'd" - Victoria
"I gotta get in my room Ma, I gotta get in my room" - Frankie
"I'll sleep in the brush with the tiger" - Peter Gotti 
"A true king finds the good in all bad situations" - Peter Gotti
Victoria: "So i heard Uncle Pete wants to take you guys camping" ... Carmine: "I dont camp, I party!"
"John, what's gonna hurt more? The tattoo or your mom's ass whopping?" - Larry
"Mom my eye hurts!" - John
"I dislike everything about my mom going on a blind date and i don't like the feeling of seeing her wit someone else and i know my dad would flip out if he sees this and for the person who's actually trying to get a date wiht my mom good luck" - Frankie
"I was playing around with John!" - Carmine
Ed: "Are your sons the only ones in the family that are spoiled?" ... Victoria: "Where are you going with that, ED?"
"Shut...Your Mouth" - Frank 
"Ahhh haaaaa" - Frank 
"She likes ME...Bitch" - Frank 
"I like this tree" - Luigi 
"You wanna go?" - John
"The reindeer is Phat" - Carmine
"He's looking a the 14 foot tree like he's going to get it" - John
"Since when is smokey the bear a tree expert" - John
"If a plane crashes and your stuck in the woods? if a plane crashes you're dead" - Frankie
"You will regret it like an idiot" - John